


One by One, the Lies Will Fall

by samsarapine



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-07
Updated: 2012-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-30 18:27:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samsarapine/pseuds/samsarapine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some lessons can only be learned through repetition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One by One, the Lies Will Fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Absolute Negation](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Absolute+Negation).



**One by One, the Lies Will Fall**

 

Gojyo threw his head back to stare at the ceiling and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know if I--"

"Gojyo."

He closed his eyes. So much. Hakkai needed _so much._

And god help him, he needed just as badly.

He sighed and turned to Hakkai. "We'll have a safe word?"

Hakkai looked dissatisfied, but said, "If you want one."

"I want one," Gojyo said. "And I call the shots, got it?"

Hakkai frowned. "But I need--"

"We're not doing this unless I'm comfortable with it," Gojyo interrupted. "I mean it."

Finally, Hakkai nodded.

/////

The irony of the amount of studying Gojyo voluntarily did so he could comply with Hakkai's request wasn't lost on him.

Too bad schools didn't use sex education as a motivator. He'd have been at the top of his class instead of a drop out.

/////

The first time had been after Gojyo had come home stinking of sex and perfume.

The second time had been when he'd lost the rent money during a spectacularly bad run of luck with the cards.

This time had been not coming home for two days. Gojyo was already planning what he could use to trigger it next time.

"They're too tight," he said.

"No." Hakkai tested the bonds. "If anything, they should be tighter."

"Wouldn't it just be better if I--?"

"No!"

"I wouldn't mind, you know," Gojyo muttered, wishing there was more slack, in the rope, in the relationship, in their need. "Not if it's you."

"I wouldn't coerce you like that."

_Hell,_ Gojyo thought. _He doesn't even realize that I want this just as badly as he does._ "You wouldn't be."

"I have no right to have someone like you."

Which was the whole crux of the problem, right there, in a nutshell. "You're the only person who doesn't think so."

"I want to own you, Gojyo."

"Have I ever said I don't want to be owned?" Gojyo retorted.

"I have no right," Hakkai replied. "I need to be punished."

"I think 'reminded' is a better word," Gojyo muttered.

Hakkai still hadn't learned. Needing Gojyo the way he needed him wasn't wrong, since Gojyo was okay with it. More than okay, if Gojyo were honest with himself.

But if being Hakkai's master meant that he could keep the idiot safe while he slowly learned that his need wasn't as pathological as he thought, and that he'd already been punished for his past crimes and didn't need to subject himself to more punishment, then he'd be Hakkai's master.

He tried Hakkai's bonds again. Too tight, but he reckoned that was what Hakkai wanted, and being someone's master meant that he had to know when to give and when to take. So he'd give Hakkai his tight bonds.

This time.

"Hakkai." Gojyo ran his hand gently over Hakkai's hair. "Do you understand why you're being punished?"

Hakkai bowed his head. "Because I was angry with you for not coming home, Master," he said in a soft voice. "I have no right to tell you what to do."

"No, that's not it."

"Master?" He looked up, and Gojyo could see confusion in his eyes.

"It's simpler than that," Gojyo said. "I'm punishing you because you want to be punished. It has nothing to do with me at all."

"But, Master...!"

"Hakkai!"

Hakkai stopped speaking and bowed his head. "Forgive me, Master."

"Why are you being punished?"

"Because," Hakkai whispered, "you think I want to be."

"Not what I was looking for," Gojyo said. "You can't lie to your master, Hakkai. I won't allow it. If you lie to me again, I'm untying you and going to the bar to play poker with the guys."

"No! Please..."

"Why are you being punished?"

"Because..." Hakkai struggled, and Gojyo could almost see his brilliant mind trying to come up with a phrase that would satisfy Gojyo while still allowing him to turn a blind eye to his own self-hate. "Because you are my master, and you alone decide my rewards and punishments."

Gojyo said nothing, but began to loosen the ropes binding Hakkai to the kitchen chair.

"No!" Hakkai cried.

"You lied to me," Gojyo said. He dropped a rope to the floor. "I'm punishing you."

"Master, please!"

Gojyo glared at Hakkai sternly and stilled his fingers. "Why are you being punished?"

"Because I want you to punish me, Master," Hakkai whispered. "I _need_ you to punish me."

Hakkai was still resisting the lesson, but Gojyo figured he'd come another small step further. He'd never admitted to need before. A start, if only a small one, but Gojyo decided to take it. "That's good, Hakkai," he said, making his voice gentle. He picked up the discarded rope. "Thank you for being honest. You deserve a reward. What would you like?"

Hakkai looked so vulnerable without his monocle, like hope was something he didn't dare believe in, but wanted to torture himself with, anyway. "Master," he said softly. "Please. Kinbaku."

Gojyo considered Hakkai's request. "If I give you Kinbaku, you have to remember today's lesson. Remember, and don't lie about it again," he said. "And you can't use the ropes that I've tied you with already. They're too rough. I'll untie you, and use the special rope."

"Yes, Master," Hakkai breathed.

"Not until I have your promise." Two days had been a long time to stay away, so Gojyo wanted the lesson to stick. "Promise that you'll remember today's lesson."

"Master, I promise I'll remember today's lesson."

"Repeat your lesson, so I can know you've learned it by heart."

"I need you to punish me."

Gojyo stifled a sigh and stroked Hakkai's hair. "That'll do." 

He finished untying the ropes and let them fall to the ground. He knew Hakkai wanted some further humiliation before he began the intricate Kinbaku ties, so he said, "On the floor. Kneel and make yourself hard. You can't come, though."

"Yes, Master." Hakkai began to touch himself. Though he kept his face respectfully lowered toward the floor, he'd tilted it up far enough that he could watch Gojyo from under his eyelashes, trying to push his boundaries.

Gojyo figured he'd better not be too lenient. Hakkai was too clever by half, and was probably already getting away with stuff that Gojyo hadn't even noticed. "Eyes down. Don't bother trying to tempt me. If you don't obey, I'll stop right now."

"Please don't stop, Master."

He stroked Hakkai's hair. "Don't fight me. This is important to both of us."

"Yes, Master." This time, Hakkai's whisper sounded more sincere. Gojyo stroked his hair one last time, then went to fetch the rope.

He'd had to practice secretly for over a week before he'd got the hang of the way the ropes should intertwine. There was a common pattern to them, one that he figured he'd be able to adapt later, as he became better. For now, though, he'd keep it fairly simple, though he'd do a full restraint to make Hakkai feel safe. Hands behind the back, calf to thigh, big toes together. Lines to stimulate erogenous zones just above the nipples, just in front and behind the balls, and across Hakkai's inner thighs and rib cage, where he was most sensitive.

The soft silken rope that he'd bought after cashing in heavy during one of his better nights at poker lay in neat twists at the bottom of his underwear drawer. Hiding it was useless, of course – Hakkai knew every hiding place in the house – but Gojyo figured storing it with his smalls established that it was for intimate purposes, and that it belonged to Gojyo.

He hoped that the distinction would keep Hakkai from appropriating it some day when he was eaten up by the darkness inside. The last thing Gojyo wanted to do was to come home to was Hakkai, gently swaying from some tree by his neck. He wasn't sure he could survive it.

Hakkai was kneeling in a supplicant position when Gojyo returned to the kitchen. He was pleased to note that Hakkai's cock was red and hard against his belly.

"I want you in the bedroom and on the bed," he ordered. Hakkai would get bruised enough in the Kinbaku process; he didn't need to suffer pressure point bruises from the hard floor as well.

Hakkai reluctantly followed Gojyo's orders, resuming his supplicant position, this time on the bed. "Will you place a knot at my throat, Master?"

Gojyo had discovered he had a kink for using well-placed knots as he stimulated Hakkai, loved resting his hand on them to feel Hakkai's tremors while he denied him orgasm. The first time he'd bound Hakkai, he'd placed one of the knots at Hakkai's throat, amazed at what a turn on it had been to rest his hand on it and feel the delicate structure of Hakkai's airway move with each breath. Hakkai had lain so vulnerable to the slightest pressure of Gojyo's hand; a simple press of his finger, and he could have crushed Hakkai's larynx with no effort at all. Yet Hakkai's trust in him had been so absolute that Gojyo knew he wouldn't have fought him if he had decided Hakkai were better off dead, and pressed that tiny bit harder.

Which he never would, no matter how much Hakkai may hope it would happen one day. Because it was Gojyo's responsibility to keep the bastard alive until he learned to do it for himself. Until Hakkai _wanted_ to be alive.

He didn't think today was the day to give Hakkai his wish. "No. Not this time." He didn't trust Hakkai not to attempt to drive his throat into the knot before Gojyo could lift his hand away. 

The disappointment was plain on Hakkai's face, which confirmed Gojyo's instincts. Today's lesson had been pretty painful, even if it had only stripped away a tiny bit of Hakkai's defenses. Hakkai sucked at dealing with the truth. Gojyo suspected that asphyxiation – and not the erotic kind – had been his unconscious goal, maybe even his conscious one. 

He cupped Hakkai's chin, raising his head. He placed a chaste kiss on Hakkai's lips. "We'll have fun without it. I promise."

For a moment, Gojyo thought there was a tinge of gratitude in Hakkai's gaze, but it faded to the familiar inward-directed self-loathing before he could be sure. _One day, Hakkai..._

One day there would only be only desire. One day their sexual relationship wouldn't be about punishment. 

_Or, if it was, it was because both of them found it sexy,_ Gojyo amended in his head.

He brushed the coil of rope against Hakkai's skin, watching Hakkai's involuntary shiver with satisfaction. Being Hakkai's master, Gojyo figured he had to make the sex play as much intellectual as physical, to keep Hakkai's mind occupied and stimulated, and he'd found that Hakkai had a sensitivity to light touches. He exploited the sensitivity by touching Hakkai in random places and watching as Hakkai tried to anticipate each touch, and failed.

"Close your eyes," he said, and when Hakkai did, he wrapped a piece of the soft rope twice around his eyes, loose enough not to press, but secure enough not to slip. 

Hakkai's breaths quickened.

"Sit on the bed, leaning back against the headboard," Gojyo said. "Grab your wrists behind your back and turn enough so I can reach." 

The rope looked so harmless, like the tail of a ball of yarn, as Gojyo draped a large loop around Hakkai's wrists. He began weaving Hakkai's upper body as if it were a loom, building a pattern and then placing lines parallel to the ones before, leaving space between each binding strand. He framed Hakkai's pectorals with a two-strand diamond anchored by his bound hands behind Hakkai's back, and cut across by two tight strands, just above his nipples. The bindings gave Hakkai's chest the look of a woman's, a little on the flat side, but each pectoral jutting out plump and crowned by a tight, hard nipple, just enough to cup in a hand.

Gojyo used a second rope to pattern Hakkai's legs, two sets of doubled strands across thigh and calf, doubling Hakkai's legs and securing them tight. He anchored it by tying Hakkai's feet sole to sole by his big toes, and strung a supporting line just below Hakkai's knees so he could relax his tense muscles, though doing so would stimulate him.

Lastly, he looped the rope around Hakkai's cock and balls. He tied a knot at the perineum, large enough to pressure Hakkai's prostate from the outside.

Hakkai sucked in a breath, but otherwise remained silent. Gojyo adjusted the knot until it sat exactly where he wanted it, then watched as Hakkai shivered, loving the effort it was taking Hakkai not to move in an attempt to escape, or, conversely, to seek greater stimulation.

"You're so beautiful like this, Hakkai," he said, kissing Hakkai's forehead. "Like the ropes are my fingers, and every time you move, I touch you somewhere new and unexpected."

Hakkai shifted minutely and moaned. "Gojyo--"

"Wrong," Gojyo said. 

"...Master."

"Better." Gojyo flicked a nipple. Hakkai jerked and panted hard, his cock leaking precome that slid down the shaft to soak into the rope at his balls. Gojyo cupped a breast. Had Kanan's breasts been like this, small, like her twin, nipples so firm and proud? Gojyo flicked again, and then leant forward to take it in his mouth.

If she had been, it didn't matter. This wasn't hers now, it was his.

Hakkai's nipple was hot and pebbled. Gojyo sucked on it, making it rise even plumper, angry and purple-red with blood. He closed his teeth on it, and Hakkai flinched, violently enough that Gojyo had to catch him to prevent him from falling to his side. He held Hakkai upright, worrying the nipple until he thought Hakkai might be getting sore, then he pulled away, leaving it wet and jutting.

He blew across it, and Hakkai opened his mouth in silent protest.

Gojyo met Hakkai's open mouth with his own, tasting and caressing for a moment, then pulling away. He tugged a bit at the anchor rope around Hakkai's knees, pleased to see the knot behind Hakkai's balls press harder in response.

"Master..."

"You're mine, Hakkai." The books had said that it was important to emphasize his ownership of Hakkai, body and soul, but even if he hadn't read it, it felt so good to own Hakkai like this, all of that power, all of that intellect, all of that restrained passion and emotion, that he reckoned he'd have done it anyway. "Every inch of you. Inside. Outside. Even the mind behind those green eyes of yours. It belongs to _me_. You are not to harm it in any way without my permission. Got it?"

He could see Hakkai's struggle. "Hakkai!"

Hakkai licked his lips. "Master, I am not to harm..." his breath came shallow and fast, "...not to harm myself."

"Again."

"I am not to harm myself. Master."

"Good, Hakkai." Gojyo knelt on the bed next to him. "But we need to define 'harm.'" From Hakkai's involuntary twitch, he knew that he'd scored a hit. "Define what 'harm' means."

Hakkai shook his head and gasped as the ropes tightened across his chest. "I can't, Master."

"That's right. I'm the one who defines what you can and can't do." Gojyo lightly traced a drop of sweat as it rolled from Hakkai's temple to his jawline. "If you think I'll disapprove of something, then you aren't to do it."

"I... understand, Master."

Gojyo shifted slightly and stroked Hakkai's back. Hakkai's shoulder blades jutted like a bird's wings on either side of the thick strands of rope that ran down his spine, sharp and graceful, and so very tempting. He licked Hakkai's ear, then the spot just behind it, then the spot where his shoulder and arm came together.

Then he sunk his teeth into Hakkai's shoulder blade, deep enough to pinch, but not to breath the skin.

Hakkai froze and whimpered.

Gojyo released Hakkai's shoulder and bent lower, sinking his teeth into the small roll of skin at Hakkai's waist.

This time Hakkai shivered and didn't stop. Gojyo could feel the tremors, smell Hakkai's arousal, taste the sweat that coated Hakkai's skin, hear his desperate, shallow gasps. This was _his_ Hakkai. At this moment, Hakkai wasn't his past, wasn't his sins, wasn't his sister's lover, wasn't his guilt and pain. He wasn't even himself. At this moment, he was Gojyo's – body, soul and mind – with no past, no future, no existence outside of Gojyo's will.

The moment was infinitely precious, because Gojyo _knew_ Hakkai was safe. 

He held it as long as he could, wishing that his power was absolute, that he could shape the world into a safe place for Hakkai. But it wasn't, and he couldn't, and time didn't stop for anyone.

He released Hakkai and licked the deep, curved indents left by his teeth. "Who do you belong to?"

Hakkai could barely whisper. "I belong to you, Master."

"You're mine. Mine to do whatever I please with."

"Yes, Master."

"Mine to command."

"Yes, Master."

"Mine to claim your total obedience, instantly and without question."

"Yes, Master."

"Come for me, Hakkai," Gojyo said softly.

Hakkai gasped and came, white strings of come that overlapped the silken lines of rope on his body, and ran down the length of his jerking shaft. Gojyo rubbed his hand firmly against the knot behind Hakkai's balls, and was rewarded with a smaller, but more intense second orgasm that made Hakkai convulse in his bindings.

When Hakkai finally slumped, unconscious, Gojyo caught him and began the long, careful process of untying him. The ropes left tracks on Hakkai's skin, beautiful impressions that snaked over his entire body, making his human form as beautiful to Gojyo as his vine-covered youkai form, maybe even more so, since the vines that covered Hakkai's human body were Gojyo's.

Once he'd removed all of the ropes, he arranged Hakkai in the bed so he would be able to sleep naturally. Then he traced the tracks of the rope with his tongue, and then with his fingers, and lastly, with the tip of his erection, the indentations slowly refilling as Hakkai's body healed itself. By the time he finally lay next to Hakkai, there was nothing left but a pattern of purpling bruises. He tucked his face against Hakkai's neck and shivered as he masturbated against Hakkai's hip.

As he shuddered in completion, his cock pulsing come against Hakkai's sharp hipbone, he felt like his soul had been stripped bare. He wiped them both off with his discarded underwear, then pulled Hakkai close, his own eyes closing in post-sex satiation.

"One day," Gojyo whispered to Hakkai's hair, "maybe you won't hate yourself so much. Until then, I'll keep you safe."

Gojyo decided that tomorrow he'd leave the bathroom filthy, and maybe forget to take out the garbage a couple of days in a row. That should do it.

A small crime, for a small punishment, and another chance to burn this lesson in Hakkai's head, until it became Hakkai's truth and it was time to move to the next lie and expose it to the light.

Constant repetition was a good form of teaching, Gojyo reckoned.

  


_fin_  



End file.
